Moonstone Music

Musings on music composition, walks in the woods, and life after the big city.

Name:
Location: Moonstone, Ontario, Canada

I'm a music composer, clarinetist, writer, podcaster, environmentalist and warrior against the terrors of everyday living!

Friday, January 13, 2006

Anxiety

Nervous. On my way to play clarinet and piano duets with a pianist I haven’t met before. What makes me so nervous is not my playing so much. Although I’m out of peak practice and I’m nervous about what she’ll think of my playing, I have always acquitted myself very well in these situations. I think what’s really causing me grief is that I’m hoping we’ll be compatible so I can invite her to be part of the Easter Cantata read-through. It would be so wonderful if that could happen. But of course, if there are problems; for instance, she’s too busy, she doesn’t like my playing or my music, she’s not the right kind of pianist etc. etc.; my hopes and dreams will be bruised once more. Sometimes… ha, lots of times, music is painful. Or at least the things around the making of it are. The music itself makes up for it, but boy, the road to the performance is often fraught with anxieties, difficulties and pain.

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